


I'm your Home

by Sinistretoile



Category: American Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, Emotional Sex, F/M, Fingerfucking, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Fucking, Grinding, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Making Love, Marathon Sex, Morning After, Morning Cuddles, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, POV First Person, Porn with Feelings, Post-Coital Cuddling, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Smut, Spanking, Vaginal Fingering, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-07 20:47:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10369071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinistretoile/pseuds/Sinistretoile
Summary: When she visits her best friend Chris before going on an overseas externship, the dynamics of their relationship begin to change.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I blame the April Esquire pictures for this. Dammit, Christopher.

I was going to Amsterdam for three months. Three whole months for an externship that if I impressed them and worked hard that could lead to a permanent position. I wanted to spend the last week before I left with my best friend in existence, especially since he’d be leaving to film not one movie but three back to back.  
Chris was hip deep in research for his next role as John Keats. I loved it. He had bought every published biography on the man and so many volumes of poetry. I found them all over the house, some in the oddest places.  
He clearly wasn’t expecting me when I sauntered into his kitchen, having let myself in with the key he’d given me. I usually crashed in his guest room when I was in town, whether or not he was single. Sometimes when he was single, we’d fuck. Like we got a craving for each other and simply had to sate it. Then things would go back to normal.  
I found him sat on his kitchen floor, long legs stretched out across the tile. He looked up at me, his face filled with surprise and joy, the person on the other end of his phone call and the cereal bowl in his hand forgotten.  
I smiled and held out my arms to my sides. “Surprise!”  
“Hey, Mackie, I gotta go. The prettiest girl in the world just walked into my kitchen.” He hung up the phone and dropped it and the cereal bowl, popping to his feet with astonishing agility. He grabbed me in a fierce bear hug and spun me around with a growl. I laughed giddily and held him tightly. “Fuck, I missed you!” He held me out to arm’s length. “What the fuck are you doing here?”  
“I wanted to see you before I went to Amsterdam and you went literally all over the fucking place.”  
“Shit, we gotta celebrate!” His grin made my stomach flip like always. He let go and spun around. “I’ll call a cab.”  
“Chris, do you want to finish your cereal?”  
“Fuck the flakes, babe. We’re going out!”  
I giggled like a goddamn idiot. I couldn’t help it. I loved seeing him this happy. Especially after his last breakup. He had really liked Jenny. He never told me, but I think his fear that she wasn’t with him for Chris but for Chris Evans got the better of the relationship. They called it quits after just a few months. It still upset him. And I was glad I could put his smile back on his face. “I’ll just put my bag in my room.”  
“Awesome. Hey, can you let Dodger out while I jump in the shower?”  
“Sure, bubba.” I kissed his cheek before he bent down to pick up his mess on the floor. I found Dodger chilling in the den, watching fucking cartoons. I grinned and shook my head. “Hey, handsome.” His head perked up at my voice and he bounded over, a bundle of kisses and a wagging tail. I let him out the back door. He took off like a shot, barking his fuzzy head off. I played fetch with him while we waited for Chris. Ten minutes later, he found us rolling around in the grass taking selfies. He joined us on the ground for a group selfie then it was time to go.  
“You’re a fucking mess, babe.” He plucked grass clippings out of my hair. “You want to go clean up real quick?”  
“Nah.” I bent forward and shook my hair out. “I’m good.” He grinned and shook his head. The cab honked from the end of the drive.  
“Let’s go. Mackie, Seb and Lizzie are meeting us at the bar.”  
“Really?!”  
“Yes, really.” I ran for the front door. He laughed, following with Dodger behind me. “Hey wait up, asshole! I have to put Dodger in the back room.” I bounced on my heels. I hadn’t seen his friends since Civil War filming. Lizzie and I talked over text and we hung out when I visited Chris. But with Seb and Mackie living in different cities, I never got to see them unless we were all in LA at the same time.  
“Come on, come on!”  
“Jesus, babe, you’d think you were excited to see them more than me.”  
“That’s not true. Ok, maybe just a little.” I pressed my tongue to my teeth and flicked my eyebrows up. He pursed his lips and raised his eyebrow. I kissed him quickly then darted for the cab. I heard him sigh behind me.  
They were waiting at the bar when we arrived. Hugs and kisses were exchanged. I was hoping Lizzie had brought Jeremy and said so. She shook her head. “Not this time. He’s in Tahoe with Ava.” She leaned in as we both accepted shots from Seb. “Although he was pretty taken with you the last time you visited.”  
Chris lifted his glass but paused. “You and Renner?”  
I shrugged, deciding to have a little fun with my best friend. “You were with Jenny. I didn’t think you’d mind.”  
Chris shook his head. “How many of my friends have you fucked?”  
Mackie’s eyes widened and his mouth formed a perfect hysterical ‘O’. I scrunched up my nose as I pretended to count. “Counting everyone at this table, six, maybe eight.” I tilted my head to the dramatically. “Do you count blowjobs as fucking?” Seb burst out laughing.  
“Shut up, you.”  
Chris eyed me as we took our shots. I got the feeling that he was genuinely upset at the thought of me sleeping with his friends. I laid my hand on his arm and made sure to look him in the eye. “Bubba, the only person at this table that I have fucked is you.”  
“And Renner?”  
I shook my head. “Never got past kissing. Ava’s nanny messaged him before things got heavy.” He visibly relaxed. “I’m sorry. It was a bad joke.” I squeezed his hand but before I could pull away, he curled his fingers around mine and held it. The rest of the night he found some way to touch me or be close.  
Several hours and too many shots later, we practically fell into his front door, connected at the mouth. His beard rubbed my chin and mustache my upper lip. His liquor soaked tongue filled my mouth. I whimpered around it. Our hands worked at buttons and zippers. Chris stumbled and we fell to the floor with me on top. He grabbed a handful of my hair, making me gasp in delight as he jerked my head back. His tongue traced my lips.  
“I’ve missed you.” His teeth marked my throat. I whined, my hips bucking violently as his hand down the front of my jeans slipped into my panties where he pressed my clit between his fingers. “I’ve missed this.” He bit me again, his fingers rubbing steady circles on my clit.  
“Oh fuck, Chris. Same. Fucking same.”  
He chuckled. “Look at me, baby.” I tried to focus on his face but my eyes wanted to close. I rode his hand, grinding down against his hard dick trapped his jeans. We panted together. “I wish you’d worn a skirt tonight. I could be inside you right now.”  
I braced my hand on the carpet at the side of his head, digging my fingers into it. “Oh Chris, please don’t stop. Please. Please, I’m gonna-I’m gonna-“  
“You gonna cum for me, baby?”  
“Yes. Yes, yes, yes.” It began a chant as I rubbed myself against him. He licked his lips then mine, holding my head so close to his our breath mingled. I arched my back, stiffening up as my orgasm took me.  
Chris closed the distance between our lips. “Go get naked and wait for me. I’m gonna let Dodger out.” I nodded, licking my lips and breathing heavily. I sat up, rocking my hips against his bulge. He sat up, grabbing my ass with his large hands. He pulled me down against him as he thrust up. He nipped at my chin. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard.” I cried out at the sharp bite against my throat.  
Then we were up and he was walking away from me. I bounded to his bedroom, stripping at the side opposite his. I lay on my stomach, texting Lizzie to make sure she made it home alright. I felt the solid weight of his warm body against me. His skin was against mine.  
“What’s so important at 2 a.m.?” His lips pressed kisses along my shoulders.  
“I wanted to make sure Lizzie made it home alright.”  
“And?”  
“She did.”  
“Good.” He trailed hot, wet kisses down my spine. I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his kiss swollen lips on my skin. “Turn the camera on.” Chris liked to watch. I found this out when he’d stumbled on a video I’d taken with an ex. He liked to watch me get fucked. He liked to watch me masturbate. He liked to watch us fuck. And I loved it. My part time lover, the voyeur. I guess you could say it played into an exhibitionist streak in me.  
I pushed up on my hands, looking over my shoulder at him. “You sure?”  
“I said it, didn’t I?” He gave my ass a delicious smack.  
“Fuck.” I shuddered. He grinned over the top of my ass at me and smacked it again. “Chris.” His thick fingers pushed into me and he smacked my ass again. “Fuck, Chris!”  
“Are you getting this?”  
Shit. I hadn’t turned the camera on. His fingers pumped in and out of me. He delivered steady smack after hard smack until I was writhing. I managed to start recording us halfway through.  
“Be sure to get your face. I love seeing your face.”  
“Yes, Chris.” I had the camera trained on my face when he thrust his cock in balls deep. I managed to get his face with that first thrust too. Then he plucked the phone from my hand.  
“You should see this.” He panted. “You take my dick so good, baby.” He grunted. “Rub your clit.” I did as he said. Then I was cumming before I wanted to. I felt the soft thump of the phone to the bed. He grabbed my hips and pulled me back hard. “Fuck, I want to hear you. I want my fucking neighbors to hear you.”  
I shuddered at his words, panting as his angle brushed his cock against my sweet spot. I clutched at the bedspread as I pushed back into him, taking him deeper and deeper until I was gasping with each thrust.  
“Oh fuck, Chris! You feel so good.”  
He grunted. “You’re so fucking tight.”  
“Harder, baby. Fuck me harder.” Chris jerked me up by my hair, his grip tight and close to my scalp. The sound of our skin slapping together grew louder. He growled and grunted, biting my shoulder. He let go of my hair to wrap his hand around my throat, not squeezing.  
“I’m so close, baby. You feel so fucking good. I missed you so fucking much.” I reached between my legs to rub my still-sensitive clit. His open mouth pressed to my cheek. “Cum for me, baby.” He nuzzled my cheek. “So close. Fuck.” I whimpered, letting a silent scream loose as I came for a second time. “Fuck. Fuck. God!” He grunted, halting with his cock buried so deep inside me.  
We collapsed to the bed, panting and tangled together. He sat up and grabbed my phone to stop the recording. I slipped to the bathroom to clean up then grabbed my clothes.  
“Where you going?”  
“To bed. It’s like 3, bubba.”  
He patted the bed next to him. “You can sleep in here.” I blinked slowly. This was new. Sometimes we fell asleep watching TV together, but we’d never intentionally went to bed together. “What?”  
“Nothing.” I shook my head and dropped the clothes and climbed back into bed. I closed my eyes, only to open them again as his arm slipped around me. I followed its urging and rolled against his body, resting my head on his chest. His fingers traced the lines of my tattoos liked he’d memorized them.  
“Here’s your phone.”  
I left it dark and tossed it onto the nightstand. “Did you send yourself the video?”  
“Nope, I deleted it.”  
“Why?”  
“Showed too much of me and not enough of you. I don’t want you to get harassed by crazy girls online if it were to get out.”  
I scoffed. “No one is gonna harass me, Chris.”  
“You’d be surprised.” I looked up at him. “They said some really vile shit about Jenny. I can’t put you through that.”  
I pushed up. “Chris, I’m not worried about any of that. I’m a big girl. I can take care of and defend myself. If grown ass women can’t get past the idea of friends that fuck on occasion, then that’s their issue not mine.” I laughed. “Besides, they’re already shipping you with Scarlett.”  
“I don’t get how you can blend into that fandom shit so seamlessly. Some of them must recognize you.”  
I shook my head. “Nope, at least if they have, no one has said anything.” I rolled over, facing away from him and nestled down into the covers. “We better get some sleep. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”  
“What’s tomorrow?”  
“Disneyland.”  
Chris laughed. “Are you kidding me right now?”  
“Nope, we’ve got about 3 or 4 hours to sleep before you drive me to Anaheim. So shut the fuck up and go to sleep.”  
He laughed again. “Yes, ma’am.” The bed dipped as he shifted closer. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled my body against his. He kissed my shoulder. “Night.”  
Chris wasn’t a cuddler when we had sex. It was always fucking to scratch the itch for each other. Then we were back to the same old. Not to mention his reaction to my almost hookup with Jeremy. What the hell was going on? I swallowed the emotions in my throat and chest. I wasn’t going to poke at these feelings. They wouldn’t get me anywhere but hurt. Perhaps, he just needed some affection. I could and would happily provide that…with a limit. Things were already shifting for me when I thought about Chris. I couldn’t let them much more or it would be too painful.  
I sighed and tried to relax. I should have been able to, but my brain kept focusing on the man at my back who held me tightly, his lips in a smile against my shoulder and his fingers caressing my hip.


	2. Chapter 2

Disneyland didn’t happen. My phone died in the middle of the night, so my alarm did not go off. We were awoken by Dodger jumping onto the bed to give us morning kisses. We faced each other. This should feel awkward but it didn’t. He scooted closer until his head rested on the same pillow.  
“We’ll have a cook out. Burgers and beer.”  
“Uh no, steaks and whiskey, my friend.”  
He laughed and pulled me closer. His fingertips skimmed down my arm to my hip. “Last night was good.”  
“Yea it was. It’s been awhile.”  
“It has.” He pressed a kiss to my lips before I could respond. His hand wrapped around my thigh and pulled it over his hip. I complied, pulling him flush against me. His hips flexed, rubbing his morning wood along my slit. I gasped against his mouth. He reached between us to line himself up then rolled onto his back, pressing my pelvis down into his as he lifted up to fill me with a tight thrust.  
“Oh fuck-” I sounded so breathless it was pornographic.  
Chris gripped my ass, controlling my motion as he thrust up. His pelvic bone rubbed against my clit. “Look at me, baby.” I did as he said, losing myself in the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. This was a bad idea. The eye contact and the sharing a bad, both very bad ideas. I found myself sliding down a slippery slope where Chris was concerned. I needed to back off but he made it so hard. He kissed me and it was clumsy and made us both laugh breathlessly as he chased our orgasms. The kissing, very fucking bad idea. Cumming together like we were about to do, so very fucking bad.  
I whined as my orgasm swept through me, stealing my breath. Then Chris groaned, arching off the bed as he came inside me. I was thankful of my implant or we’d be sweating it right now. Dodger jumped onto the bed, barking but Chris shooed him off before he started sniffing.  
“Now, I really need to shower. I smell like booze and cum and cigarette smoke.”  
“Two out of three ain’t bad.”  
I slugged his shoulder. “Shut the fuck up, Christopher.”  
Hours later, we were hosting a little barbecue for his friends and our mutual friends that lived in the city. It was all domestic as fuck. Chris manned the grill like a champ. I ran the kitchen like June Cleaver.  
Mackie’s girlfriend caught me in the kitchen, grabbing another fruit tray. “It’s good to see Chris so happy.”  
I smiled as put a few finishing touches on the tray, some shortbread cookies and cream cheese fruit dip. “I agree.”  
“How long have you and he been together?”  
I blushed, biting my bottom lip. “We’re not.”  
It was her turn to blush. “Oh I’m so sorry. You two just look so good together and you really put that vibe out.”  
“It’s ok. We’ve been friends since Scott Pilgrim.”  
“Since when?”  
I laughed. “I met him when he played Lucas Lee in Scott Pilgrim versus the World.” I could tell by her face she had no idea what I was talking about.  
“Well, it’s shame you’re not. He’s looked really happy.”  
“Thanks.” I followed her out with the fruit tray. Chris grinned at me from the grill. It was all fucking suburban bliss. I sighed, smiling at him in return. The rest of the afternoon, I avoided him where I could. The party wound down and I began to clean up.  
Lizzie caught me in the kitchen, much like Mackie’s girlfriend. “Alright, spill.”  
“Spill what?” I put food away and loaded the dishwasher as she crossed her arms over her chest and followed my every move.  
“You two are awfully cozy today. What happened last night?”  
I laughed. “Nothing that hasn’t happened before.”  
“Liar, this is not the same two people that were at the bar last night. You two are totally giving off couple vibes today. Serious couple vibes.”  
I sighed. “Lizzie, we’re not- I mean, we had sex. But we’ve had sex before.” I rubbed my face and leaned against the counter. Chris sauntered in for another beer.  
“Hey beautiful.” He rested his hand on my hip and leaned in for a kiss. It was a soft press of lips then he teased his tongue into my mouth, nipping playfully. I couldn’t help the smile that answered his. He kissed my ear as he pulled back then opened the fridge. He kissed Lizzie’s cheek on the way back out.  
She was across the kitchen in two seconds. “That is not friend behavior. You know it and I know it. Has he said anything?” I shook my head. “Well, maybe you should.” She sighed and pulled me into a hug. “I’ve gotta go. Early morning on set.” She pulled me into a hug then left me in the kitchen to my thoughts.  
I stepped out onto the back porch, looking up into the starless city sky. My chest squeezed as the emotions I refused to poke at swelled. Why did things have to change? Why now? Why couldn’t they have waited until I got back from Amsterdam? Or before I accepted the externship? The back door opened then Chris dropped to the patio sofa.  
“It’s just you and me now, kid.” He looked at me. “You looked good today. And we worked well together.”  
“We always do and I always do.” He laughed then pulled me to straddle his lap. He cupped my face then kissed me, a tender but passionate kiss that left me breathless. His hand slipped under my skirt, teasing feather light touches up my thigh. The backs of his fingers brushed against the crotch of my panties. “Chris-“  
“I got you, baby.” His kisses traveled along my jaw to my ear. He hit the spot under my ear and I melted. I had his jeans open and my hand down his pants, squeezing his semi-hard cock before I could stop myself. He moaned into my ear. “I wish we could see the stars.”  
“Why’s that?”  
“Because I wanna fuck you under the stars.”  
“That’s awfully romantic, Christopher.”  
He chuckled. “I have my moments.” He shifted his hips to tug his jeans down as I pulled his cock out. I moved up onto my knees then lowered down onto him. “Fuck, you feel so fucking perfect, baby.”  
I rolled and swiveled my hips, feeling the drag and pull of his thick cock. His mouth fell open in a silent ‘O’. His body trembled. With me in control, he couldn’t back off his stroke. He reached between us and rubbed my clit. I braced my hands on the back of the couch.  
“Oh fuck. Fuck…fuck, ride me, baby. Just like that. Fuck.” I rested my forehead against his. His hands rubbed up and down my back. I could feel his thighs tremble under me. He brought his fingers up to my mouth. I sucked them in and made them wet. He groaned, pulling his fingers out slowly. I could just imagine him wishing it was his dick. Then his earnest fingers rubbed my clit, firm and quick. I wrapped my arms around his head, pushing his face into my chest between my breasts. His moans echoed against my sternum; his teeth scraped.  
“Chris, I’m gonna cum!”  
“Do it, baby. Cum for me.” My thighs shook as my orgasm tore through me. He let me ride it out before he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me down as he thrust up into me, chasing his orgasm. He carried me to bed, kissing me all the way there. No matter how many times I told myself this was a bad idea, his passionate tenderness tethered me to that bed until late into the night, early into the morning when we fell into an exhausted sleep, tangled in each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The three poems Chris recites are:  
> *To Fanny by John Keats  
> **The day is gone and all its sweets are gone by John Keats  
> ***A thing of beauty by John Keats  
> They do not belong to me in part or whole. They are the lovely work of John Keats. And I encourage you to read more of his work.
> 
> Also, you should probably listen to this song on repeat while you read it. I did while I wrote it. James Arthur 'Say you won't let go' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yW7w8F2TVA

The next four days were spent going to bars with friends and coming home, to Chris's home, to have sex. He would have me sleep in his bed with him and cuddle until we finally fell asleep. If I went to the guest room to sleep, I'd wake in the night to find Chris wrapped around me. It was too good to be true. It felt too fucking good. I began to dread my Sunday flight.  
On Saturday, Chris looked up from his script as I walked into the room. Dodger lifted up his head then sat up. I saw something flash in Chris's eyes. He smiled. "You don't mind if we just hang out around here today, do you? I've got a lot of reading to do."  
"No that's fine. I think I need a day to recoup." I dropped down on the couch on the other side of Dodger. "The other side of thirty sneaks up on you." I began to pet Dodger's back. I had made the decision in my shower to poke the bear. To poke the feelings that were twisting my belly up in fluttering knots that turned to fireworks every time I looked at Chris or that he touched me.  
Chris looked at me over the dog's back. "You ok? You seem kind of out of it today."  
I smiled, brushing it off. "I'm just tired. I'm not used to drinking this much...or being up this late." Or fucking this much, I finished in my head. I met his eyes. My breath caught in my throat at the look on his face. He'd never looked at me like that before. Or if he had, I'd never noticed. I don't know what he was about to say but I don't know if I was ready to hear it. I knew what I felt, but if Chris didn't...I don't think I could take that kind of rejection, no matter what his eyes were telling me I was seeing.  
"Babe, I-"  
"Hey, I'm gonna run to the store. We're eating in tonight, right? I wanna cook for you." I popped up and hurried to the guest room and pulled on my sandals and grabbed my purse. "I'm gonna take your car, ok?"  
"Yea, ok."  
I grabbed his keys from the coffee table, purposefully avoiding his eyes. I hurried from the house, trying to calm my tachycardic heart and the bubble of anxiety that rested in my chest.  
Whatever he'd been about to say was forgotten by the time I returned from the store. He joined me in the kitchen as I fixed us dinner, drinking wine with me and talking about everything that we'd missed over the last few months. We ate at the small table in his kitchen, and it felt way more intimate than any meal we'd ever shared.  
Afterward, Chris started to help me clean up and I shooed him off. "You're supposed to be reading. Go, I've got this. I'll even take Dodger for a walk to give you some total peace and quiet."  
"You sure?"  
"Yes, bubba. Now go on." I plucked the dirty plate from his hand and handed him the half full wine glass. "I've got this." Truthfully, I needed the time to myself too. The intimate and comfortable meal had shaken me. It felt too much like a date and I couldn't breathe. I hoped he didn't notice my faint trembling.  
Later after the the kitchen was cleaned and Dodger was walked, I changed into comfy jammies and grabbed a bottle of wine from the kitchen then joined him in his bedroom. I leaned against the door jamb, watching him read and scribble notes in a notebook. I bit my l lip then swallowed. He looked so fucking beautiful. My heart ached to tell him that I loved him more than platonically. But how to do you tell someone like Chris Evans you love them romantically with no guarantee he reciprocates?  
"Professor Evans, would you like a study break?" I held the wine bottle by the neck, swaying my hips purposefully to get his attention.  
He looked up at me, his brow pinching at the bridge of his nose. He paused with his pen in the air. His glasses hid his eyes from me, but his irritation at being interrupted vanished in a soft smile. A book lay open on the bed and he held an open book in his hand. "Professor?"  
I climbed onto the bed, kneeling on the other side of his work materials. "Yea, you look like a college professor doing class prep. Classics maybe? Or I guess poetry is more fitting since you're reading Keats." I reached for the remote for his flat screen.  
Before I could turn it on, Chris snatched it from me and tossed it to the other side of the bed. "No, no TV. You're a distraction enough." I raised my eyebrow, sitting back on my heels. "Top off my wine, will ya, baby?"  
I crawled to the edge of the bed and uncorked the wine, refilling his glass and mine. "I have an idea."  
"What's that?"  
"Why don't you practice on me?"  
"Practice what?" His frowny face returned.  
I handed him the glass then laid my head on his solid thigh, drawing my knees up. "Practice being John Keats. Woe me with poetry."  
Chris sighed and thumbed through the old red book in his hand. "'I cry your mercy—pity—love!—aye, love! Merciful love that tantalizes not, One-thoughted, never-wandering, guileless love, Unmasked, and being seen—without a blot! O! let me have thee whole,—all—all—be mine! That shape, that fairness, that sweet minor zest Of love, your kiss,—those hands, those eyes divine, That warm, white, lucent, million-pleasured breast,— Yourself—your soul—in pity give me all, Withhold no atom's atom or I die, Or living on, perhaps, your wretched thrall, Forget, in the mist of idle misery, Life's purposes,—the palate of my mind Losing its gust, and my ambition blind!'"*  
I sipped my wine, wondering why he picked a love poem. I rolled the glass back and forth between my fingers. "You sound like you're pretending you're from Victorian England."  
"Oh gee thanks."  
I rolled my head to look up at him. He glanced at me from the book. "Are you getting a vocal coach? To help with your accent? Maybe Hiddleston. Won't he be at the Marvel shoot? Oh or Hayley!"  
Chris shook his head. "Neither of them will be there. Remember Hayley's character died in Civil War and Tom's not in this one."  
"So vocal coach?"  
He sighed. "I'll think about it. It's not like I haven't even done an English accent before."  
"True but you're doing Victorian English."  
He rubbed his face. "You're thinking too much into this. I thought I was just supposed to be reading you poetry."  
"Fine, fine. Just trying to help. I guess you know your craft better than I would." He nudged me with his thigh.  
"You're right. I do. But I appreciate the concern and suggestion." He reached down to smooth my hair as he began to read. "'The day is gone, and all its sweets are gone! Sweet voice, sweet lips, soft hand, and softer breast, Warm breath, light whisper, tender semitone, Bright eyes, accomplished shape, and lang'rous waist! Faded the flower and all its budded charms, Faded the sight of beauty from my eyes, Faded the shape of beauty from my arms, Faded the voice, warmth, whiteness, paradise— Vanished unseasonably at shut of eve, When the dusk holiday—or holinight Of fragrant-curtained love begins to weave The woof of darkness thick, for hid delight; But, as I've read love's missal through today, He'll let me sleep, seeing I fast and pray.'"**  
I finished my wine then closed my eyes, relaxing into his touch. His fingers continued to comb through my hair, moving further onto my face to stroke my cheek or my ear before sweeping back into my hair.  
"'A thing of beauty is a joy for ever: Its lovliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness; but still will keep A bower quiet for us, and a sleep Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing. Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing A flowery band to bind us to the earth, Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth Of noble natures, of the gloomy days, Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darkn'd ways Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all, Some shape of beauty moves away the pall From our dark spirits. Such the sun, the moon, Trees old and young, sprouting a shady boon For simple sheep; and such are daffodils With the green world they live in; and clear rills That for themselves a cooling covert make 'Gainst the hot season; the mid-forest brake, Rich with a sprinkling of fair musk-rose blooms: And such too is the grandeur of the dooms We have imagined for the mighty dead; An endless fountain of immortal drink, Pouring unto us from the heaven's brink.'"***  
I felt Chris's breath against my lips as he spoke the last words. Then his lips touched mine. I sighed, letting him in with a sweep of his tongue. His strong hand gently cradled my cheek. I sighed into his mouth. He took my empty wine glass then moved up over me. With his thigh gone, I dropped to the bed. His body pressed against mine as he ghosted soft kisses along my throat and down my neck and chest.  
Our hands explored each other in ways we never had before, finding new ways to touch each other that left us panting and eager. It felt so much different, so much more. We were like new lovers finding ways to please and arouse past just getting off. Chris made quick work of our clothes, tossing his books and notes onto the floor. He devoured me open-mouthed kisses of teeth and tongue from my neck to the soles of my feet, paying special attention to my breasts but avoiding my pussy. He tickled his soft beard over every inch of my skin. I carded my fingers through his hair, sighing and undulating under his tender ministrations.  
"Chris..." He peppered kisses across the cradle of my pelvis, his heavy breaths teasing me one puff at a time.  
"Yes, baby?"  
"Are you going to eat me or not?"  
He chuckled against my thigh then bit it playfully. I laughed and tugged his hair. "I thought you'd never ask." He spread my thighs and nestled between them, using his shoulders to hold me open for him. He licked a wet stripe from my entrance to my clit. I gasped and clutched at the sheets. "Fuck, you taste so sweet." He pushed his face deeper into my pussy until his lips and tongue found my clit.  
He pushed two fingers inside me, curling them to find my sweet spot. I arched my back, grinding my cunt against his mouth. He licked and sucked my clit as he petted my sweet spot. I gripped his hair, riding him hard. "Oh Chris! Oh fuck!"  
"Come on, baby. Cum for me." He kissed my thigh then attacked my clit again, increasing the steady pressure of his strokes on my sweet spot. My vision went white; warmth coursed through me, radiating from his hot, wet mouth and thick, strong fingers. Chris had never gone down on me. He'd fingered me before sure, but he hadn't expressed a desire to eat me and I'd never pushed, because it wasn't an important aspect of our sexual relationship.  
He did not stop with my orgasm. He sucked and nibbled my clit, pressing my sweet spot until I exploded at second time. He still did not stop. I tried to pull away from him, but he chased after me. His arms wrapped around my hips and jerked my cunt back to his mouth. He licked me clean then went back to my clit.  
"Fuck, I love the way you taste." He groaned. "I could eat your pussy all night." He sucked my labia into his mouth, teasing me with teeth. I couldn't form words as he sought out my clit and brought me off for a third time. I pulled his hair, arching off the bed. My thighs trembled. I stared at the ceiling, my whole body singing like an electric wire. His fingers continued to move in and out of me. His tongue gently swiped over my throbbing clit.  
"Fuck! Chris, I can't!" I sounded so desperate, so wrecked on the verge of tears. No one had made me cum like this before, certainly never Chris.  
He licked his lips. "Give me one more, baby. One more and I'll stop." He pinched my clit between his lips. The wet sounds of his fingers in my cunt and his blissful groans were enough to bring me off one more time. Tears leaked from my eyes yet my hoarse scream wasn't as loud as it sounded to me.  
"Chris, no more." I panted, sobbing with relief. He covered my pussy with kisses, making me jerk with each one. "I can't!" I pushed at his head away with both hands and tried to close my legs.  
He laughed. "Alright, alright, I can't help it." He kissed my mound one final time then trailed open-mouth kisses up my center. "You taste so fucking good." He nuzzled my throat, nudging his cock against my swollen, sensitive pussy. "I had no idea what I was missing."  
"What you were missing?" I laughed breathlessly, practically melted into the bed. "If I had known you were that good, I'd have pinned you down and rode your face years ago."  
Chris laughed, his eyes twinkling as he looked at me. In that moment, I could believe everything my heart was telling me. I wiped his glistening cheeks and beard. "I wish you would have." He kissed my throat and collarbone, his fingers plucking and tugging on my stiff nipples. I caressed my palms down his chest and arm. His stomach caved in as my hand wrapped around his cock. He closed his eyes, letting out a breath.  
I stroked him, passing my thumb over the crown his cock. He bit his bottom lip, his hips bucking into my hand. I leaned up, pushing him onto his back. My tongue traced his iliac furrow, scraping his hip flexors with my teeth. He groaned. I sucked his leaking tip between my lips, drawing on him like a ripe berry.  
"Shit."  
I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock and stroked up to my mouth as I took him deeper. He bucked involuntarily. I loved giving Chris head. He got so excited he wound up doing all the work for me. He pushed my hair back from my face so he could watch me with hooded eyes and parted lips. His chest rose and fell in a pant. He rested his hand on my head. Not taking over, not yet. I met his gaze.  
His fingertips pressed to my skull as I bobbed up and down, hollowing my cheeks as I sucked him. He hissed, thrusting as I came down on him. I drew my tongue up the vein on the underside of his cock. His eyes were dark, pupils blown. His body trembled as he fought to control himself.  
"Stop, baby. Stop, stop."  
I licked my lips, sitting back on my heels. "Chris?"  
He surged up, grabbing me by the back of my neck as he tackled me onto my back. His lips crashed into mine. I tasted my muskiness on his tongue. I knew he could taste himself on me. He cradled my head in his head, breaking the kiss to press his forehead against mine. "I need to be inside you. Please don't look away, sweetheart."  
I swallowed and nodded. He kissed me as I licked my lips, drawing my tongue into his mouth. He reached between us and guided his cock to my opening. He moved so slow. I left every inch. He wasn't long enough to hit my end unless he was really going for it. But he was thick, and the drag and pull of his cock in and out of me had me gasping and clinging onto his shoulders.  
Neither of us looked away. He panted against my lips, kissing me over and over. He kept his thrusts shallow and steady. It would have been so easy to tell him in that moment. To just let the words roll off my tongue as he brought me to a fifth whimpering orgasm. I closed my eyes as it swept over me. He kissed me as his took him.  
Chris didn't let me go; he didn't pull out either until he softened. He rolled us onto our sides. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the poetry. Maybe it was the knowledge we wouldn't see each other for three months. And if I stayed in Amsterdam, we would see other even less.  
This time was different. I feel like it had been shifting my entire visit. We had gone from fucking to scratch our itch for each other to something more. We were past fucking. We were past 'having sex'. Chris and I had just made love. There was no other way to describe it. I felt the difference. And by the way Chris gazed at me, I knew he could too.  
He held me close against his chest as he rolled onto his back. He caressed small circles in the small of my back as he held me close. He covered me in kisses, over my lips and face, my ears and neck, and my collarbone. Then he returned to my face. He kissed a line across my lips, lapping his tongue against them then my tongue. He kissed my eyelids.  
My head felt light, airy, almost like I could float away. We were in a love bubble but neither of us spoke. We let our bodies do the talking where words would only get in the way. My fingertips traced patterns on his chest and abdomen. I kissed his throat and collarbone, sucking the salty skin of his hairy chest. I rubbed my fingers through the dark hair, feeling how surprisingly soft it was.  
Our caresses wandered south. His to my breasts and mine to his cock. When he stood hard and ready again, he urged me to straddle him. I rode him languidly, feeling the fullness of his cock inside me arch my spine. His palms covered my breasts. We moved in a rhythm. He looked up at me with a look of wonder. And I felt like a fucking goddess. He couldn't keep his hands still. He touched me all over. I braced my hands on his chest as I drove us both higher. His fingers dropped to my clit and I was cumming with little coaxing. My clenching set him off. I collapsed onto his chest. The kissing and touching resumed again. Only after we'd made love a third time did we finally fall asleep, exhausted and tangled in each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Morning came too soon. My body throbbed, good sore from head to toe. Chris lay on his stomach, breathing heavily. His arm lay over my waist. I kissed his shoulder then slipped out of the bed. I needed a shower. I was covered in dried sweat and fluids from the both of us.  
I padded naked through the house, letting Dodger out on the way to the kitchen. The kitchen filled with the rich smell of coffee. I attempted to comb my fingers through my mangled hair. A total nightmare. It would take forever to comb. The hot water felt amazing on my sore muscles. I took my time getting dressed. Truthfully, I didn't want to leave. Last night changed everything for me.  
Chris had poured us both a cup of coffee and was sat in the sun room, sketching when I padded into the kitchen. The coffee was perfect. I bit my lip as I pulled a bagel and cream cheese from the fridge.  
"I called a cab so you don't have to take me. I don't want you do be hounded by the paps. It'll be a huge thing you don't need."  
"So we're not even gonna talk about last night?"  
I paused in spreading the cream cheese on my bagel. I ignored the faint trembling in my hands as I rested them on the counter. Chewing my bottom lip, I avoided the question until I was done. I turned around to find him regarding me silently, but he was clearly hurt by my avoidance. I swallowed down my apology. What would I have been apologizing for? Trying not to break my own heart?  
I sighed, setting my coffee and bagel next to his. He leaned back to allow me to sit in his lap. His arm wound around my waist. I combed my fingers through his hair as I looked him over, avoiding his gaze until I could get a handle on my tears.  
When I could trust my voice, it was soft and small and completely betrayed me. "What is there to talk about, bubba? You're getting ready to film 3 movies back to back to back. And you're gonna be gone literally the rest of the year. And I'm going to Amsterdam for the next 3 months..."  
He reached up to cup my cheek and the bagel turned to sand in my mouth. It's hard to swallow and suddenly my eyes burn as his thumb caresses my cheek. "You know last night was different." His voice is soft even though it's only the two of us.  
"I know." I push the hair back from his face. "But it's been different for me for awhile." I shrugged then fingered the edges of his sweater. "I just didn't want to spoil what we had with love."  
"Babe-" I cut him off by snuggling into his broad, solid chest. I'm sure he could feel me trembling but didn't say anything. He wrapped his arms around me and closed his eyes, resting his cheek on my hair. I squeezed my eyes shut, relishing the body warm sweater and wishing I didn't have to leave.  
The sound of toe nails against tile let us know that Dodger had come back inside. I pulled away from Chris reluctantly, sniffing and wiping my eyes. "Hey, hey, come here." Chris tried to grab me again but I slipped free of him.  
"I'm gonna finish getting ready. The cab should be here in like 30 minutes."

We stood awkwardly at the front door. Chris had a hard time looking at me. It just hurt too goddamn much. My chest and throat were tight, my stomach twisted up. Leaving him never hurt this much before. Maybe because it was different for him now too.  
The cab honks from the curb. "I better go."  
"You'll call me on your layover and when you land?"  
I smiled. "Like always, bubba." I reached for his hand, but he surprised me by pulling me into his arms and a searing kiss.  
The cab honked again and I finally pushed him away. His lips chased after mine but I pulled away, laughing breathlessly. "I've gotta go. I'll miss my flight."  
"Yea, ok." His thumb caressed my spine just under the hem of my shirt.  
I reached up and cupped his cheek, gliding my thumb along his lips. He kissed my thumb then turns to kissed my palm. "I love you, Chris." I kissed him quick and tender then hurried out the door and down to the cab so he couldn't see me cry.

Chris reached up to grab the door jamb above the door. His muscles flexed as he watched her flounce down the steps and the driveway then get into the cab. His face pinched as he tried not to cry. It wouldn't solve or change anything. He knew why last night was so different now.  
It was partially his fault. He'd missed her so much. He'd wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. He did several things he normally didn't when they fucked. And like that, she was more. She'd slipped right in without him realizing it. He loved her. It was like taking a punch to chest. Fuck. He couldn't breathe. He loved her. And now he had to make her see that Amsterdam would never be her home. HE was.

*

*

*

Three months later...  
Filming was over for the first of his three films. The time apart from her after that week had been torment. They still phoned and messaged, but it wasn't the same. There was a heart-wrenching distance between them now. He could tell by her face when they Skype called that she longed to talk to him about that week. He couldn't figure out why she didn't just say something. Surely she had to know that he loved her too.  
Chris sent his luggage back to LA. But he redirected his flight at the last minute. He hadn't told her that he was coming. He hoped to god that she was home, still in country. His anxiety had flown off the charts, making his flight uncomfortable. He tried to stave off the trembling in his hand as he raised it to knock.  
"Just a minute!" God, he'd missed the sound of her voice. He shifted his weight. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. The door opened and he looked up. Her mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water.  
"Hey." He smiled that half smile that was almost his trademark.  
He watched her suck in a breath as she tried to speak. "Chris? What are you-" He couldn't wait anymore. He stepped into her, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her body against his. His lips covered hers in a needy, anxious kiss. His anxiety washed out of him as she returned the kiss, moving up onto the balls of her feet so she could wrap her arms around his shoulders.  
They were both breathless when they parted. He rested his forehead against hers, savoring the feel of her in his arms. Her fingers played in his hair while his caressed her skin just under her clothes. "I love you."  
She pulled back. "Chris?"  
"Listen, I should have told you three fucking months ago. I love you. And I can't go through another 3 months without you. Come with me."  
"What about my job? The externship?"  
"I'll take care of you until you find something in LA." He cradled her face and met her eyes, letting her see all the love he had for her. "I need you. And you need me too." He could feel her trembling in his arms. He willed her to say yes. "Baby, come home. Amsterdam isn't your home. I am."  
She laughed, letting her happy tears fall. "You are." She kissed him again, speaking the next against his lips. "Yes, yes, I'll go anywhere with you." He brayed a laugh and spun her around. She pulled him backwards into her apartment and his mouth back to hers. Chris kicked the door closed behind him. It was time for a proper welcome home.

**Author's Note:**

> I used every picture. Sorry not sorry.


End file.
